“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” – Jim Valvano

“No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.” – Godfrey Winn

Today I write one for the fathers…


…and the mothers too…


I have had one of those weeks…tough and difficult. Exactly the type of week I thought I had waved goodbye to with 2014.

I found myself thinking of how difficult it is to cope with the loss of a loved one especially a parent. I still don’t remember what triggered that thought but I found myself getting depressed with that thought especially as I have not experienced that with both parents still alive.

The following day I was chatting with one of my close friends who had lost her mother about a year ago and I asked a question which perhaps sounds selfish and insensitive (now you can give me the stick now…I think I deserve it). I asked her “Does this pain ever go away?” and I immediately apologized and asked her not to answer but she smiled and said she does not mind and she would answer. She said “No…it doesn’t go away, but there are better days and not so good days” then she added.” While you have the chance, enjoy live with your loved ones and make every moment count because there are no words to explain the pain of losing a loved one when they are gone”.


Two days after that I woke up to my alarm and picked my phone to put off the alarm then saw my BBM notification icon blinking….I checked and it was a message from one of my best friends…the message had just two words. “Lost daddy”… that was it. I immediately felt pain and sadness…I tried to reply but was loss of words…we had chatted 2 days earlier when she told me dad was not doing too well and I had told her I will be praying with her.

Yesterday, another of my friends posted on Facebook how he missed his dad who passed away 20 years ago to the date yesterday and he wrote what I think was a great tribute to a great man…I also read his sister’s blog where she also wrote on the vacuum created since the father passed on 20 years ago…she was a toddler then and had no idea what was going back then but today as a young lady she feels that vacuum that was never filled and never will.

Today I woke up still thinking of the pain and challenges that many face with the loss of a parent. I again remembered that all my close friends have either lost one or both parents (coincidence?) my best friend is an orphan. So I decided I write something down especially for my dear friend Ngunan whose loss is still so fresh and the hurt of losing a father still indescribably deep and almost insurmountable. As well as to other friends who have also lost a parent. I salute these friends who are experiencing this pain and have been battling this challenge of living without one or both parents.


I still don’t get it completely though I have a slight idea of what you are going through. I salute your strength and character. You all are my heroes today and I celebrate you. I am encouraged by your strength of character to forge ahead and keep your heads up and walk through life…through the difficult days and through the lighter days you have come through and still matching on. I salute you.

To my friends who like me have not experienced this phase of life yet, may I offer you my friend’s advice to me…” While you have the chance, enjoy live with your loved ones and make every moment count because there are no words to explain the pain of losing a loved one when they are gone”. You can never tell when it comes but the reality is it does come and what better way to try to ease the pain when it comes than to spend quality time with Dad and Mum…listen to them…build up golden memories of time together while you can.

Photo credits: All photos Google Images


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