WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 6: Bonnievale & Broken pieces of my heart – 31 DAYS

I could not post over the weekend as usual as I was away on a camp somewhere in Bonnievale in a farm called River Goose Camp. It was fun being out in nature, away from internet and electricity and all the noise and “comfort” of city life to just spend time with friends and family.

I was there last year exactly at the same time. The 14th of March is the birthday of Mel who I have come to take as my mum. She loves nature and has always returned to the farm to celebrate her birthday so last year we were there and returned this year again. I made a post here last year when we went. If you missed it, here is your opportunity to catch up, see the post here.

This year we had more friends and family so it was fun. I had a great time and enjoyed the long drive too. Highlight of my weekend was the time spent with the little angel Nina who is just 2. I have not seen such a sweet kid in a long time. so adorable and she is so intelligent, engages in such meaningful talk that left me wondering if she is not way older than her age. Everyone who came for the camp fell in love with Nina.

**************

It’s exactly 1 month to the wedding. 31 days!!! I am excited about what lies ahead and I write with joy but my joy is not complete. I write this with some pain and half a tear. Perhaps it is the way I am made, maybe it’s a man thing or maybe I am yet to just understand it fully.

I had a chat with a dear friend last week and told her about the wedding (I think she already heard from some friends). I told her and she went quite for a while then said congratulations and later told me things will change and said she is warning me “in advance” to anticipate a weird reaction. She said she was “shocked” by the news and later admitted it’s difficult to remains friends with and watch me build my life.

The discussion left me feeling sad and broken. I love my friends and will always hate to lose any. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my friendship especially with her and kept hearing the word “unfair” ringing in my ears…that was what she said I was…unfair to her…always have been unfair to her.

So as I take my walk down the aisle, I will take these thoughts with me. There will be friends I will love to see around but will see them no more. There are friends I will love to have around in my life but they are leaving and maybe never to return. Life is funny, such a happy phase in my life laced with some bitter flavour. In the course our relationship and planning for the wedding, I have met new friends who have come into my life and made it better. However, I am not faced with the flip side…just as friends come, some are changing and some are leaving. A sad truth which I must accept no matter how unpleasant it sounds. It makes me sad and if only I could change things and keep all my friends happy I will.

I love my friend and it will hurt to see her change and start acting “weird” but for now it is out of my hands. I can only wish for the best…I have searched my conscience and I still can’t figure it all out.

DIRECTION

Once in a while you run across an article that you just feel you can’t help but re-blog….yeah that’s me today and I just feel this needs re-blogging….here we are….DIRECTION!! we all need some yeah?

godpikin1's Blog

DIRECTION
Yesterday was an eye opener for me. I had an experience I actually did not plan for but it opened a gamut of infomation and ideas to my head. Let me take you on a journey of experience!
I went to a military school growing up and to a large extent I love order and hate it when people break ranks. However that is not the real matter or story here. I was on Ahmadu Bello way yesterday and saw the grid lock of cars of which I realised to a large extent could have been avoided with some degree of patience. It also opened my eye to see that the average Nigerian knows what is right and good to do but are waiting for someone to prod and guide them along. This was a painful realisation as I noted with pain that we are not a society concerned…

View original post 674 more words

BLOODY TEARS : A BLAST OF TRUTH

The year was 2000, I was in Jos…it has been a few days since I started feeling sick…the symptoms were very familiar, cold, bouts of fever, weakness, loss of appetite and some nausea. I am not a doctor but I know enough to “realise” this is malaria. I knew because I have had malaria before and the symptoms are same. So I walked to a nearby chemist in Nassarawa Gwom and bought me some anti malarial drug.

4 weeks later I lay on the bed dying…it was the 3rd of May…my birthday. I was not feeling any better…I kept on with the anti-malaria treatment but still remained sick. I knew I was dying…I just knew it. I then did one last thing….forced myself to walk to the PHC clinic close by. I went to the lab for a series of blood test as prescribed by the nurse. Shortly after blood was taken off me, I slipped off the stool in the lab and collapsed into total darkness…

Year 2014 May 20th….

Yesterday’s Jos bomb blast did not come to me as a surprise actually. I am however shocked at the casualties and amused at the reaction of many especially on the plateau which was so predictable. It is sad how many lives were lost and how many more have been affected directly or indirectly by that callous act of few. So the question that begs for answer is what I have seen many write on different social media platforms. Questions like: why Jos again? we condemn what happened, where did we get it wrong? We shall rise again, the perpetrators of this act has burn in hell….blah blah blah.

The unending tension and crisis in Jos, Plateau state and Nigeria has been going on for some time now and we have been treating it the same way with same results over and over again. 2001 to 2014 is 13years since this spate of crisis began, 13 years of the same unending vicious circle of preventable loss of lives and properties. “one-step-forward-three-steps-back” development, years of fragile peace and insecurity even though a lot of resources has been spent on safety and security. Perhaps it is time we stop with the usual questions and we shall rise again talk and instead start looking at what we are doing?

Year 2000…

I was sure I had malaria and treated myself with anti malaria drugs. I was at the verge of dying and passed out in that lab. The result came out and I had a severe typhoid it has eaten so deep in me that I was surely going to die if I had not gone to the clinic that day.

Year 2014…

In the same way I think we have been treating the crisis with the wrong medication and unless we face up to the facts and admit it, the situation won’t get any better!!! I was not surprised when shortly after the crisis, I heard Christian boys in busabuji had set up road blocks and stopping cars to drag out muslims and kill them. Muslim boys were also said to have set up road blocks along bauchi road targeting Christians. There was looting and wanton destruction of life and property. This has been the same pattern that gets repeated time and time again.

I think it is time the truth be told. THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS CRISIS!!! Since 2001 hundreds innocent Muslims and Christians have been killed, hatred has been brewed between the two religions, in Jos, we now have areas demarcated along religious lines where if one of the other religion ventures in it is as good as signing ones death certificate. We have refused to vote potentially credible candidates because they are of a certain religion other than ours. We are losing it people; we can’t sacrifice credibility and right on the altar of very petty issues like religious sentiments!!  So we have done all these yet the crisis has persisted…isn’t it time to open our eyes and drop the religious card? If it has not worked this far, it probably never will. This is NOT Muslims against Christians NO!!

SO WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY?

Let us think deep. This cannot go on. We can’t keep going through this vicious circle of violence. We can’t allow the hatred and anger to keep destroying us and pulling us apart. This is no religious fight, it is no political fight. We can’t treat typhoid with anti malarial drugs, it just won’t work.

May the souls of all the dead from yesterday’s blast and resultant unrest rest on and may their bloodshed be platform and a foundation on which we will come together and do away with the “wrong medication” we have been attempting to treat this crisis with over the past decade and for once see the enemy for what it is. Only then shall we conquer this monster and rise again to our full potential.

BACK…again!!!

Yes..It has been 98 days away…that is long I know and if you read my “about” page you will see I confessed I am not a regular writer (though I am working on becoming one)…I am more of a “therapeutic writer”…I wonder if there is any such term…anyways I think that is the term that bests describes me when it comes to blogging…I write to keep me sane and alive…now if my last post was 98days you can only imagine how close I am to a full blown insane man…actually I think if you will rate insanity on a scale of 0-10, I should now sit comfortably between 5 – 6…or maybe higher….hehehehe…now you know my current state…and after seeing my state on the insanity scale, I had to jettison my initial plan to make a return after 100 days!! A lot can happen in 2 days you know…so yeah it’s time to let out the steam and return to a more decent frame and state of sanity.

I spent the last weekend camping with friends and family….it was at the camp that I realized and decided it is time to return from my break… The camp was at the River Goose Camp site..the bit I will say about the camp is if you are planning a vacation in South Africa and you are an outdoor camp freak like me…you love to be in the farm, close to nature, treated to a serene star filled sky at night and an all-day orchestra of bird calls and songs around you, paddling, kayak-ing and just leaving the hustle and bustle of the busy and noisy city life then Goose camp is your destination…you won’t find a better camp!!! see more about the place here and let my pictures do the rest of the talking…
😀

 ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

 

Celebrating Nigeria

Birthday time…Yay!!!

Ok wait a minute…I have to confess I am not the birthday party type…I most times mark my birthday low key (by my standards that is 🙂 ) usually with a few friends and family…but I admire those of my friends who throw all stops and pull down all barriers to party and party HARD!!!  I agree birthdays are milestones that are worth celebrating…they only come once in a year unless if you were born on the 29th of Feb then I will say you have no excuse at all but to celebrate real hard each birthday.

Over the years I have attended and witness birthdays, a trend has always been same in all instances…happy times!! From the social media to birthday cards, flowers and a lot of other presents…birthdays are full of fun and merry every year…friends and even the not so close friends make an effort to make the celebrant feel good…Now that is one reason why I think many look forward to their birthdays.

The fact that everyone aims to please and make the celebrant happy does not mean to say the celebrant is perfect in all sense…no one is perfect…we all have our flaws …when I chat with the celebrants and ask if they wish to have any change in their lives…they list is always non-stop…there are always wishes and some regrets from actions, or in actions in the past…but all that does not stand in the way of having good times on our birthdays…that I think again is a significant importance of birthdays…though things are not all perfect and 100%, we chose to look at the positive and appreciate the gift of life…the mere fact that one is alive is worth celebrating.

Today marks Nigeria’s 53rd ‘birthday’ or as they call it Independence Anniversary…and unlike our personal birthdays been happy times, in recent years, the independence day is a day Nigerians wear sack clothes and mourn…it is a day the most populous ‘black’ nation in the world come out enmasse to condemn the leadership of the country and count all the evils and failures of the years the country has gained her independence from its colonial masters. Nigeria’s Independence Day now resembles a day of mourning especially on the social media as well as radio and TV.

I however choose to be different…I won’t dwell much on the flaws of my beloved nation. I am not denying that things can be better…I chose to optimistic instead. I chose not to weep and cry and label the 53 years as a waste. I am making a decision to see the positives of the 53 years that we have spent as a nation. I chose to celebrate a country which bounced back after a full blown civil war and still manage to have a semblance of one nation…a feat that many nations have tried to achieve without success. I choose to celebrate for been a part of a nation that is as different and diverse as any other nation can be and yet with all the difficulties and challenges that this diversity comes with, we have spent 53years and still counting as a nation and against the prediction of many we are still one nation.  I see reasons to celebrate…reasons to look into the future with optimism that we will eventually get it right and infact, I already can see us getting it right.

Yes, I see the positive in what we have…I choose to see the silver lining in the dark cloud…I choose to see the rainbow instead of dwell on the cold and wetness of the rain. So I say this is to a happy 53rd Independence anniversary Nigeria my beloved country.

Here are a few songs I love…national songs which I think all Nigerians should not only listen to but imbibe the message and lift our heads high as we match into a future…not a future which is a “time zone” but a future which is all we can be but is yet to become…a future which is bright…a future which has been in our dreams way too long and is time it comes to reality…enjoy and celebrate Nigeria with me.

Fumni Adam’s “Nigeria my beloved country” a golden oldies, TY Bello’s “The Future” and finally Banky W and Samsung’s “More than a star” a song they just released today…. 😀

A Letter To Miley Cyrus

The Happy Heart

Dear Miley,

I, as well as millions of Americans, sat in amazement as I watched your VMA performance. No, you are not the first artist to grind on a backup dancer (however you may be the first to grind on a teddy bear but who knows), sing about your life of partying and drug abuse, or to strip down to your chonies. It’s all been done before. So why is your performance evoking such media attention, anger, amusement, and general confusion? Well, I have yet to speak to the millions of viewers personally, but here are a few of my guesses.

1. Yes, we all know that you are NOT Hannah Montana and we are all aware that you are of legal age to make your own decisions and mistakes. I am sincerely sorry that at such a young age you were forced to adhere to the pressure of being…

View original post 652 more words

365 days and still counting…Its a “blog-a-ver-sa-ry”!!!

ImageI was pleasantly surprised when I got the happy anniversary notification from wordpress.com a few days back. I was tempted to hurriedly make a post immediately but I paused for a few seconds to think and those few seconds grew into minutes…the minutes also gathered and became hours and the hours rolled into days…well the days added one to another and I am here today….still reflecting on my first anniversary as a blogger.

My reflections brought up the good and some not so good memories…luckily for me there was no sad or unpleasant memory (yay!!! 😀 ). If I am to summarize in seven or eight words what my experience has been  I have this to say: “Without regrets, it has been an excellent experience”. However since I have more than eight words to summarize let me build on what I have squeezed into those eight words.

The inspiration to start blogging came to me not out of the blue but sort of built over a long period of conversation with me. I was encouraged by a few friends who believed in my budding writing skills a while back to start blogging but I declined…I felt I was not ready yet (maybe I was too scared to step out of my comfort zone, maybe I was afraid I would fail…so I held back 🙂 ). Well a year ago I took the bold step and spread my wings, took a leap of faith off the cliff and started flapping my wings to fly. I looked around and smiled…it felt good I looked up and smiled, it was beautiful…I looked down and was shocked at how far off the ground I was…I looked back and was alarmed…I had left my comfort zone behind…fear set in and I panicked and started falling down.

That was when God sent my first ‘blog angel’ to the rescue. In came Nuala, the Bluphoenixrebel…now I cannot say enough about her in a few lines..maybe a complete post will suffice 🙂 She gave me that support I needed to overcome that initial panic attack….she had the the time and patience to edit some of my early posts. She encouraged me by posting some of my pieces on her blog like this. That was the confidence boost I needed at that time…I felt the energy rush into my literary wings again and I flapped and flapped and flapped and gained heights again flying higher. She has a brilliant blog….make out time to have a look here…you won’t regret it I promise. 🙂

Through the months that followed up to make the 12 which gave me the anniversary badge, a few more angels came at appointed times to give me the push I needed to keep going. For want of time and space, I won’t mention them all today. My post on “literary angels and demons” will be dedicated to that and more. Watch this space 🙂

Looking back now, I really have no regret…I have had a wonderful experience. I am not yet the best writer I can be but I know I am enroute that destination. If I have one wish, I would say I wish I had written more often 🙂 I have a tight schedule and though my mind gets loaded with ideas almost always, finding time to pen them down is proving more challenging than I anticipated. One big lesson I have learnt is never to give up on a good cause…so I will keep writing, keep making time…keep putting in my best till I arrive at that place where I aim to be.

This post will be incomplete without due mention to all the guys who have taken time to visit, like or comment on this blog, you give me reason to write. Those who follow this blog…thank you, I keep trying hard not to fail you and to pay back your trust and believe in what I have to offer. You encourage me. Finally to the bloggers I follow, yes a huge source of my inspiration and believe comes from the encouragement and challenge I get from your talents and rich blogs (more on this in my literally angels and demons post).

Osisiye thank you for making sure I get a good laugh every time for free…but beyond the laughter I also gain from the lessons that are never ended coming from you. Lahmeet…I still call you my pastor…thank you and now I can say this thank you is a double portion so share some with drepayne my latest source of inspiration…

Now I am beginning to mention names…I got to stop…thank you everyone. One year down and yes, it has been great…Above all I thank God through whom all I do or say becomes a success. 365days and still counting…I am just doing the ‘blogging jog’…yet to start the sprint…this isn’t even the beginning. 🙂

Image

Cheers