Along Came The Other Woman…

Okay…Yes I know I have “press(ed)” already today…but having seen this piece, I could not help but “Press”(sometimes I wonder how some people manage to coin words…this is just one of those…but well …yes I will not digress 🙂 again…

So here I present to you my personal pastor Mrs Anita Giwa (nee Amai) as she hit this one again spot on…in basketball this is a three pointer no doubt…

Read on guys and leave your comments…better still check on Lahmeet’s blog for more where this came from…enjoy “Along came the other woman…”


Along Came The Other Woman….


Don’t Get Married If….

Hey, I so love this piece and thought I should ‘Press it’…if you ain’t married then you are just in time…if you are married…its not late to make amends…enjoy

Don’t Get Married If…..

The power of 30 days…

I just hope this is not coming too late…but like they say, better be late than never….
I wrote this down 30 days after madagascar… hence the title…..and I have not edited it since then…
let me know what you guys think about this…..but let me warn….this is the work of an amateur!

I still can see myself…..I just finished packing, I was sure I wanted to go yet so unsure if I should go…I still see myself….I just finished packing and I can’t hold back the tears…this time I am so sure I don’t want to leave…at least not just yet….in-between the two packing was 30days…that’s the power of 30days!
As the plane took off from Nigeria….I knew I was going to meet 17 other course participants-all strangers-for 30 days….as the plane touched down in Nigeria….I still couldn’t believe I just parted (I hope temporarily) with 17 family members who I have spent been with for the last 30 days- or is it 30 years!…..that’s the power of 30 days!
Then Nuno meant one thing to most or all of us….a stranger! Now Nuno still means one thing to us all, but so different- The Maestro! That’s the power of 30 days!
30 days ago…..I had no story….today I have 17 stories, for 17 kith and kin….
Alice- Marmite!
Marta- Laughter!
Nuno- Maestro or is it Food-monster? (It’s your pick).
Eric- Joker (The only time I remember him being serious was with the Dentist in Morondava!)
Peter- Story teller & Novelist
Chabi- Dancer or “Lover” of Mango? (It’s your pick).
Ciara and George- One chimney and “two” or three horses?
Hauke- Please what’s the name of that Insect again?
Arsu and Noeli- or is it Noeli and Arsu? I need to do some more thinking here…!
Bernadett- I’m “boilingly freezing”…I’m not from another planet, I just need another blanket!
Marlot- I need to go wear my TBA t shirt!
Rita- Cool, calm and collected….let’s keep vigilant!
Marie- Let’s paint those ants into the “arena of death!”
Mary- I have a Zimbabwean twin and a Nigerian Sister!
Tendai- Whose story can’t be condensed into a line or two! How else can we say of her who stunned George with a speed not even superman or mask can compete! Even the maestro for once was short of dazed! It wasn’t a race it wasn’t even a snake or was it?
….the story goes on and on…that’s the power of 30 days!
30 days ago, beef had over 10names, now, we don’t need any translator…we readily connect with “Zebu!”…that’s the power of 30days!
…I can still see the mail Clive sent us with emails and flight schedule of participants….then it was just that….nothing more…I read through names and emails…today, going through the same mail, when I read through, I see faces, smiles, stories and memories that will last with me eternally! Etched upon the tablets of my heart, treasured…never to be forgotten, never to be eroded…what did it take to make such a lasting impression? 30 unforgettable days! … That is the power of 30days!
Now I look back and I have no regret, I look back and I have no worries, I look back and I have a few tears….I have a question…why did it all had to end? Again the answer popped from the past…it had to end so that a new beginning be made available for you and I…we now have a new slate on which lies the opportunity to write the second part of the story…it had to end so we could part and we had to part so we meet again…and that is the beauty of life. Life indeed is beautiful…and all it took to prove this was 30 days…that’s the power of 30days!
So beautiful like the colours of the rainbow, we all converged…sweated under the Kirindy sun, learned under great minds, walked the beach sands of morondava and swam the Mozambique channel…dined at madam Fanzah’s table….smiled together, shared jokes together, cried together, danced together…18 great minds, 15 countries, 1 purpose, 1 reason…we all made it…this is so beautiful and this again is the power of 30 days! 

Random thoughts…


Now I commence a journey again of discovering (or re-discovering) myself…

I think my greatest mistake has been dropping my pen…and now I live daily with the pain and shame of that singular action…I am not sure if I can atone for the wasted years but I will give it a try…no promises, no expectations but its worth the try…reminds me of the saying “He who is low needs fear no fall” yes, I am not only low but flat out on the floor, so how much lower than the floor can I fall?


I was watching Idols South Africa over the weekend and I remember this lady…Thabz is her name…I was indeed challenged by her in more ways than her rendition…he is obviously one of the more gifted among the top 18 remaining at this stage…but she made a big blunder in the performance…it perhaps won’t be a big deal if it was at an earlier stage…but at this crucial stage it was almost an ‘unforgivable blunder’ …I saw the look in her eyes…I still can’t define perfectly what it showed…fear is the closest word…she knew she had lost  it…her mistake? she missed part of the lyrics and she just could not raise the key and the song continued on a flat…for a moment I thought she will stop (she later confessed in the interview that she considered that option too). But she did not stop…she pushed it to the end…as soon as she ended she dropped her head in shame and the tears started flowing…needed to say, the judges told her what she feared most…her performance for that day did not live up to expectation…


Next day, they were addressed on who will make it to the top 16 (ended being a history creating top 18 as the judges just could not trim the number to 16 at this stage…that is how enormous the talent this year is!!!)…fast forward to Thabz turn…she walked in an sat…she has been crying all day already asked why she was crying…she minced no words in describing how terrible she felt over her previous performance and said its the first time in her 28 years that she is experiencing such she was deeply hurt because she knows what she can do, she knows her capabilities. She was crushed she has let her family and friends down by that singular performance and she said she is sure she won’t make the top 16…well the judges had some disappointing news for her…her fears won’t come to pass this time as they have also considered all her performances since she came in and not based their decision on one performance which means she had progressed to the next round and is among the top 16…


I can see you smiling…yes, but sorry to disappoint you guys…Thabz did not smile neither did she celebrate…she broke down and wailed she cried even more after hearing the good news( or was it good?)…now that is the point of my story…she realized she was given a second chance…though it did not right the mistake she made, she still had a chance to take another go….so in the same way I have also cried and cried and ruled myself out but the judge (I won’t tell you who *tongue out* ) has given me another chance and I am grabbing it with both hands…it does not mean my wasted yesterdays are all gone…no, but I am given another chance and I will get it right this time…


There is alot on my mind to write and I am determined to write it all down…a step at a time…this writing surely is therapeutic my friend Nuala said…I will soon write about my “unseen friends” Nuala tops the list…it has amazed me how friends who I am yet to meet in person have so impacted me in more ways than I can say…I will tell you about it…I am drawing a list and will begin saving…2013 I will target it to meet as many of these “unseen friends” as possible….now that is another story….another day…:-)


So it is a welcome to me…and to my mind, I am sorry for burdening you with so much…now is time to unpack, roll back the sleeves, pull my socks, dig in and work…:-)..


Phew!!!! First one down and out…I am smiling and wiping the tears…it’s a good feeling…refreshing and yeah…it is that yeah feeling…that yeah…..yeah!!!!


My Mouth my words…

I remember my undergraduate days …now this sounds like I graduated a million years ago right? J… Actually somehow it feels that way though it’s less than a half a dozen year (now that’s not so long is it?:-)) It was such fun all those years with so many class mates some of whom I was still getting to know in my final year…after 5years learning together through ASUU strikes, Jos crisis et al…we finally made it (not all of us…sadly) to the end (Phew!!!) and we thought making a year book will be a good way to keep memories alive…

Six years down the line, I am flipping through the colourful, glossy pages of the year book and seeing all those lovely faces again…re-living those years (now that’s story for another day…).When I got to my page, I looked at the quote which I choose back then to be my caption…and it read

Life is but blocks of words

…I remember clearly now the thought process that birthed that quote…I just went through the same process now and let me share my bit….

How often we open our ‘naturally endowed canons’ and ‘fire fatal missiles’ without taking into account the effect…did I say canons? Yes, missiles? Yes again…I am talking about our mouths and the words we spew out carelessly everyday…

If only we take time to pause and weigh the impact of the words we speak, I am sure this world will be a better place…I have seen how lives, dreams and hopes have been shattered…sometimes irrevocably by a single carelessly uttered word….I am no saint and I confess, I have also dealt a few verbal blows to friends and loved ones…words which I think of today and I am so ashamed of my actions..Words I wish I could take back…but you see, that’s the funny thing…a word, once uttered can NEVER be taken back…the damage is done and at best damage control will be the best option…this got me thinking, if this is the case then I better be careful with my word. Look at your life carefully consider all that motivate and keeps you going, it all boils down to words, if you are the ‘selfish’ breed then all your motivation will be “me” and “I” come first…for the ‘selfless’ breeds, it boils down to “love”, Love for others…the bottom line always comes down to words, and that is what builds our lives…our lives like it or not are woven and rotate around the words we hear and speak.

On the flip side, it is not all missiles that I come out of our mouths…we also have positive words, words that mend and build…I make bold to say, I have spoken such words to many and gosh!! I will give anything to behold the moments that capture the reaction I get…seeing the radiance break through a face when a well-timed, nicely spoken word hits the target…the smile, the bright eyes…you will know what I am talking about if you have ever spoken nicely to anyone (and I am sure you all have….there is no completely bad person I believe). Every human craves for love, that is what we thrive on, cut off Love from the world and humanity is doomed…

Let us weigh our words, the same word can hurt just as it can bless…it all depends on its usage…have you ever observed a baby…when they are old enough to recognize their names…have you seen that smile, that love whenever they hear their name called? It is bliss I tell you…then think of when the same name is shouted…the baby cringes back and you can see fear written all over the poor face, next comes tears and the baby is terrified…same word, different reaction…the key lies in its usage and the decision on how we use our words solely rests with us…we are responsible for the words we speak. Remember the 1994 Rwandan genocide? Such senseless massacre!!! And all started with some carelessly uttered words…on the other hand, think of the massive impact that these words spoken in 1963…“I have a dream” positive words, positive effect!!!

 Many of us hurt others with our words because we think we must always talk. We seem to forget to savour the sweetness of “silence is golden”… Chaim Potok puts it this way “I’ve begun to realise that you can listen to silence and learn from it. It has quality and a dimension all (on) its own.” The Bible also captures it nicely “He who has knowledge spares his words… Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.”  Let us learn from these wise words and be better people…a good word is like a balm…It heals and it soothes…more so, it acts both ways, not only does it blesses and heals the receiver, but it also uplifts the giver…so you see whatever end you are, you win…it is a win-win…

Two days ago, I was selected to be a weekly columnist for a huge Facebook  group…I have been thinking deeply about it and the more I dwell on the thought, the scarier I become, it is a task I am not taking lightly…I will be dolling out words…words that will directly be targeted at thousands who are members of the group and indirectly countless more who will be second parties or will be at the receiving end of the effect my words will have on my direct audience…It awakened in me this renewed awareness of weighing my words again…what will I say to these guys? How will I say it? I just pray I get divine wisdom to carefully weigh each word and use it wisely…I see this call as an opportunity for me to impact a generation and I have to influence them positively….I have to do it right…I must get it right.

You may not have the same opportunity as I have, but we all are blessed with numerous chances daily to use our words positively, don’t waste your next chance if you have wasted the last. God through nature operates through a system based on the principle of sowing and reaping…the words you sow into other’s lives is what you will reap in yours…so if you don’t want to do good for the sake of the other party, be ‘selfish’ and do it for yourself…speak positive and healing words always…It is never too late to start, you can start now…turn left and right now…who do you see? say something nice…how about a simple “Hi”, “Good afternoon”, “How are you?”, “Thank you” add it up with a smile…remember to come back and share your experience with me…I’m waiting…:-)