WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 10: The finale – Ringed

How time flies hey!! The last time I made a post was April 6th…in another two days it will be a full month!! And yeah this last 4 weeks will definitely go down as one of the most if not the most dramatic, event-filled and action packed month in my life.

This post is the final in the series. It was meant to me a countdown to my wedding…I missed one post which was supposed to come one week to the wedding and I initially thought I should post that now but again I thought why hold back? The aim of the series is the wedding anyways, why waste more time talking count down while I can as well talk about the big day?

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So on the 18th of April, I walked down the aisle and got ringed to the love of my life Tendai. It was a beautiful and well attended ceremony. It held in a small town called Gindiri about 120km from the city of Jos, Nigeria. This was followed by a second event in Cape Town which mainly was organized for the family and friends here who could not make the long trip to Nigeria for the wedding. The event in Cape Town was held on the 30th of April and it was sandwiched by our birthdays with Tendai’s birthday on the 29th April while mine came up on the 3rd of May. Now you see what I mean by an event-filled month! 🙂 …yes I can’t dish out all the juicy details in one post so again take a chill pill, sit back and relax as I take you through another series…this time shorter  than the 10 episode Walk me down the aisle. In the new series titled “Through the eyes of the Groom” I will tell you about the wedding days (Nigeria and South Africa) and the “after drama”.

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How does it feel to be “finally” married? Is one question I have heard many ask me a lot over the past two weeks. My response has always been two fold, maybe three fold, the first is non-verbal (A Smile), the second is verbal(It feels good) and the third is a silent and secrete response which is not seen by anyone because it usually is in my mind…In my mind I wonder why “finally”? It was no prolonged battle. It was just a matter of “when” and never “if”. But how can I start explaining that to the countless people who ask the question? I know it will lead to a long essay and sermon none of which I was ready for… 🙂

I am happy, I am married to one who I love and I know love me too so dearly…at this moment in time nothing else really matters. Every time I look at her, my heart warms up and I just smile, I know that come what may everything will be fine….and this is not a feeling based on some fleeting sensation of newlyweds, it is a deep conviction. I have known Tendai for 4 and a half years now and have seen enough of her to know she is right for me and these words I speak are borne from all the experiences of these years leading up to 18th April when we stood before God, family and friends to profess our love and exchange marital vows that will bind us for as long as we have breath in us. That is my conviction. That is my feeling. That is where I stand. I love Tendai and she loves me too.

🙂 ❤

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WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 6: Bonnievale & Broken pieces of my heart – 31 DAYS

I could not post over the weekend as usual as I was away on a camp somewhere in Bonnievale in a farm called River Goose Camp. It was fun being out in nature, away from internet and electricity and all the noise and “comfort” of city life to just spend time with friends and family.

I was there last year exactly at the same time. The 14th of March is the birthday of Mel who I have come to take as my mum. She loves nature and has always returned to the farm to celebrate her birthday so last year we were there and returned this year again. I made a post here last year when we went. If you missed it, here is your opportunity to catch up, see the post here.

This year we had more friends and family so it was fun. I had a great time and enjoyed the long drive too. Highlight of my weekend was the time spent with the little angel Nina who is just 2. I have not seen such a sweet kid in a long time. so adorable and she is so intelligent, engages in such meaningful talk that left me wondering if she is not way older than her age. Everyone who came for the camp fell in love with Nina.

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It’s exactly 1 month to the wedding. 31 days!!! I am excited about what lies ahead and I write with joy but my joy is not complete. I write this with some pain and half a tear. Perhaps it is the way I am made, maybe it’s a man thing or maybe I am yet to just understand it fully.

I had a chat with a dear friend last week and told her about the wedding (I think she already heard from some friends). I told her and she went quite for a while then said congratulations and later told me things will change and said she is warning me “in advance” to anticipate a weird reaction. She said she was “shocked” by the news and later admitted it’s difficult to remains friends with and watch me build my life.

The discussion left me feeling sad and broken. I love my friends and will always hate to lose any. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my friendship especially with her and kept hearing the word “unfair” ringing in my ears…that was what she said I was…unfair to her…always have been unfair to her.

So as I take my walk down the aisle, I will take these thoughts with me. There will be friends I will love to see around but will see them no more. There are friends I will love to have around in my life but they are leaving and maybe never to return. Life is funny, such a happy phase in my life laced with some bitter flavour. In the course our relationship and planning for the wedding, I have met new friends who have come into my life and made it better. However, I am not faced with the flip side…just as friends come, some are changing and some are leaving. A sad truth which I must accept no matter how unpleasant it sounds. It makes me sad and if only I could change things and keep all my friends happy I will.

I love my friend and it will hurt to see her change and start acting “weird” but for now it is out of my hands. I can only wish for the best…I have searched my conscience and I still can’t figure it all out.

Celebrating Nigeria

Birthday time…Yay!!!

Ok wait a minute…I have to confess I am not the birthday party type…I most times mark my birthday low key (by my standards that is 🙂 ) usually with a few friends and family…but I admire those of my friends who throw all stops and pull down all barriers to party and party HARD!!!  I agree birthdays are milestones that are worth celebrating…they only come once in a year unless if you were born on the 29th of Feb then I will say you have no excuse at all but to celebrate real hard each birthday.

Over the years I have attended and witness birthdays, a trend has always been same in all instances…happy times!! From the social media to birthday cards, flowers and a lot of other presents…birthdays are full of fun and merry every year…friends and even the not so close friends make an effort to make the celebrant feel good…Now that is one reason why I think many look forward to their birthdays.

The fact that everyone aims to please and make the celebrant happy does not mean to say the celebrant is perfect in all sense…no one is perfect…we all have our flaws …when I chat with the celebrants and ask if they wish to have any change in their lives…they list is always non-stop…there are always wishes and some regrets from actions, or in actions in the past…but all that does not stand in the way of having good times on our birthdays…that I think again is a significant importance of birthdays…though things are not all perfect and 100%, we chose to look at the positive and appreciate the gift of life…the mere fact that one is alive is worth celebrating.

Today marks Nigeria’s 53rd ‘birthday’ or as they call it Independence Anniversary…and unlike our personal birthdays been happy times, in recent years, the independence day is a day Nigerians wear sack clothes and mourn…it is a day the most populous ‘black’ nation in the world come out enmasse to condemn the leadership of the country and count all the evils and failures of the years the country has gained her independence from its colonial masters. Nigeria’s Independence Day now resembles a day of mourning especially on the social media as well as radio and TV.

I however choose to be different…I won’t dwell much on the flaws of my beloved nation. I am not denying that things can be better…I chose to optimistic instead. I chose not to weep and cry and label the 53 years as a waste. I am making a decision to see the positives of the 53 years that we have spent as a nation. I chose to celebrate a country which bounced back after a full blown civil war and still manage to have a semblance of one nation…a feat that many nations have tried to achieve without success. I choose to celebrate for been a part of a nation that is as different and diverse as any other nation can be and yet with all the difficulties and challenges that this diversity comes with, we have spent 53years and still counting as a nation and against the prediction of many we are still one nation.  I see reasons to celebrate…reasons to look into the future with optimism that we will eventually get it right and infact, I already can see us getting it right.

Yes, I see the positive in what we have…I choose to see the silver lining in the dark cloud…I choose to see the rainbow instead of dwell on the cold and wetness of the rain. So I say this is to a happy 53rd Independence anniversary Nigeria my beloved country.

Here are a few songs I love…national songs which I think all Nigerians should not only listen to but imbibe the message and lift our heads high as we match into a future…not a future which is a “time zone” but a future which is all we can be but is yet to become…a future which is bright…a future which has been in our dreams way too long and is time it comes to reality…enjoy and celebrate Nigeria with me.

Fumni Adam’s “Nigeria my beloved country” a golden oldies, TY Bello’s “The Future” and finally Banky W and Samsung’s “More than a star” a song they just released today…. 😀

Away, Back and In-between

 

Hello guys, it’s good to be back, Well, I am back…after a long unplanned break….I feel like starting with a few excuses but not I won’t give any…I will rather tell you what I have been up to through the period I have been away…but too will be too much to squeeze into a single post…so this is what I will do, I will give highlights then take it from there on my next post which should not be too far off from today…

So between the last time I made a post and today (*Thinking*)…yes I have gone through more than a few life lesson classes…and I grew older…but wiser…yes, it was my birthday on the 3rd of May…I should have made a post that day…no I actually should have made a post on the 1st of May, and the 2nd too…ok what I mean to say is I should have posted on each day of the month…I had made that promise but I failed again…see, my list of lessons is building up!!! Phew!!

Well, I am back and determined to make it up…I have all the experiences of the past few weeks locked up in my mind…some of the memories saved as strings of words, others saved as pictures, still others saved as motion pictures and others saved as sounds…I promise to share them all with time…and like my favourite radio DJ would say, “Keep your dial here”…I feel like saying same now :-D.

Besides my birthday and failing to write over the past month, I have also had to do abit of travelling within and outside of South Africa…now that is one interesting part…if you have not been to Zimbabwe and plan to visit that lovely country in future, you will want to read my “Zimbabwean Epistles I&2. If you also plan to visit South Africa, I am sure you will be interested in knowing that a visit to Mzansi is not complete without touching the mother city (Cape Town)…now among the million and one fun things to do in Cape Town, is an experience of the night life in one street with a special name: “Long Street”…you will love my “A Long Encounter with Mama Africa”.

Love!!!! Yes Love…Ok now I got a love song…I found love and you will be told the love story from the eyes of a young, daring, naughty, caring and bullish Taurus…Phew!!! Now I hope I won’t regret saying that later on… :-).  I also had this encounter with a couple of ‘too clever’ babies, toddlers, kids…one thing about me, I gave a super soft spot for babies (and dogs)…I can’t wait to have mine and now that I have found love, I hope that won’t be in the distant future from now…well, before then I will dish you my encounter with these really clever kids… and tell you what I think of the kids around us.

I am back…and as you can see the experiences and stories that will come with me after the long break are juicy…and I hope worth it. I am back again and I am here to make open up and again make myself vulnerable. But I am also back to learn and grow…to earn my first next grey hair 🙂 .