ONE FOR THE FATHERS AND MOTHERS

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” – Jim Valvano

“No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.” – Godfrey Winn

Today I write one for the fathers…

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…and the mothers too…

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I have had one of those weeks…tough and difficult. Exactly the type of week I thought I had waved goodbye to with 2014.

I found myself thinking of how difficult it is to cope with the loss of a loved one especially a parent. I still don’t remember what triggered that thought but I found myself getting depressed with that thought especially as I have not experienced that with both parents still alive.

The following day I was chatting with one of my close friends who had lost her mother about a year ago and I asked a question which perhaps sounds selfish and insensitive (now you can give me the stick now…I think I deserve it). I asked her “Does this pain ever go away?” and I immediately apologized and asked her not to answer but she smiled and said she does not mind and she would answer. She said “No…it doesn’t go away, but there are better days and not so good days” then she added.” While you have the chance, enjoy live with your loved ones and make every moment count because there are no words to explain the pain of losing a loved one when they are gone”.

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Two days after that I woke up to my alarm and picked my phone to put off the alarm then saw my BBM notification icon blinking….I checked and it was a message from one of my best friends…the message had just two words. “Lost daddy”… that was it. I immediately felt pain and sadness…I tried to reply but was loss of words…we had chatted 2 days earlier when she told me dad was not doing too well and I had told her I will be praying with her.

Yesterday, another of my friends posted on Facebook how he missed his dad who passed away 20 years ago to the date yesterday and he wrote what I think was a great tribute to a great man…I also read his sister’s blog where she also wrote on the vacuum created since the father passed on 20 years ago…she was a toddler then and had no idea what was going back then but today as a young lady she feels that vacuum that was never filled and never will.

Today I woke up still thinking of the pain and challenges that many face with the loss of a parent. I again remembered that all my close friends have either lost one or both parents (coincidence?) my best friend is an orphan. So I decided I write something down especially for my dear friend Ngunan whose loss is still so fresh and the hurt of losing a father still indescribably deep and almost insurmountable. As well as to other friends who have also lost a parent. I salute these friends who are experiencing this pain and have been battling this challenge of living without one or both parents.

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I still don’t get it completely though I have a slight idea of what you are going through. I salute your strength and character. You all are my heroes today and I celebrate you. I am encouraged by your strength of character to forge ahead and keep your heads up and walk through life…through the difficult days and through the lighter days you have come through and still matching on. I salute you.

To my friends who like me have not experienced this phase of life yet, may I offer you my friend’s advice to me…” While you have the chance, enjoy live with your loved ones and make every moment count because there are no words to explain the pain of losing a loved one when they are gone”. You can never tell when it comes but the reality is it does come and what better way to try to ease the pain when it comes than to spend quality time with Dad and Mum…listen to them…build up golden memories of time together while you can.

Photo credits: All photos Google Images

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365 days and still counting…Its a “blog-a-ver-sa-ry”!!!

ImageI was pleasantly surprised when I got the happy anniversary notification from wordpress.com a few days back. I was tempted to hurriedly make a post immediately but I paused for a few seconds to think and those few seconds grew into minutes…the minutes also gathered and became hours and the hours rolled into days…well the days added one to another and I am here today….still reflecting on my first anniversary as a blogger.

My reflections brought up the good and some not so good memories…luckily for me there was no sad or unpleasant memory (yay!!! 😀 ). If I am to summarize in seven or eight words what my experience has been  I have this to say: “Without regrets, it has been an excellent experience”. However since I have more than eight words to summarize let me build on what I have squeezed into those eight words.

The inspiration to start blogging came to me not out of the blue but sort of built over a long period of conversation with me. I was encouraged by a few friends who believed in my budding writing skills a while back to start blogging but I declined…I felt I was not ready yet (maybe I was too scared to step out of my comfort zone, maybe I was afraid I would fail…so I held back 🙂 ). Well a year ago I took the bold step and spread my wings, took a leap of faith off the cliff and started flapping my wings to fly. I looked around and smiled…it felt good I looked up and smiled, it was beautiful…I looked down and was shocked at how far off the ground I was…I looked back and was alarmed…I had left my comfort zone behind…fear set in and I panicked and started falling down.

That was when God sent my first ‘blog angel’ to the rescue. In came Nuala, the Bluphoenixrebel…now I cannot say enough about her in a few lines..maybe a complete post will suffice 🙂 She gave me that support I needed to overcome that initial panic attack….she had the the time and patience to edit some of my early posts. She encouraged me by posting some of my pieces on her blog like this. That was the confidence boost I needed at that time…I felt the energy rush into my literary wings again and I flapped and flapped and flapped and gained heights again flying higher. She has a brilliant blog….make out time to have a look here…you won’t regret it I promise. 🙂

Through the months that followed up to make the 12 which gave me the anniversary badge, a few more angels came at appointed times to give me the push I needed to keep going. For want of time and space, I won’t mention them all today. My post on “literary angels and demons” will be dedicated to that and more. Watch this space 🙂

Looking back now, I really have no regret…I have had a wonderful experience. I am not yet the best writer I can be but I know I am enroute that destination. If I have one wish, I would say I wish I had written more often 🙂 I have a tight schedule and though my mind gets loaded with ideas almost always, finding time to pen them down is proving more challenging than I anticipated. One big lesson I have learnt is never to give up on a good cause…so I will keep writing, keep making time…keep putting in my best till I arrive at that place where I aim to be.

This post will be incomplete without due mention to all the guys who have taken time to visit, like or comment on this blog, you give me reason to write. Those who follow this blog…thank you, I keep trying hard not to fail you and to pay back your trust and believe in what I have to offer. You encourage me. Finally to the bloggers I follow, yes a huge source of my inspiration and believe comes from the encouragement and challenge I get from your talents and rich blogs (more on this in my literally angels and demons post).

Osisiye thank you for making sure I get a good laugh every time for free…but beyond the laughter I also gain from the lessons that are never ended coming from you. Lahmeet…I still call you my pastor…thank you and now I can say this thank you is a double portion so share some with drepayne my latest source of inspiration…

Now I am beginning to mention names…I got to stop…thank you everyone. One year down and yes, it has been great…Above all I thank God through whom all I do or say becomes a success. 365days and still counting…I am just doing the ‘blogging jog’…yet to start the sprint…this isn’t even the beginning. 🙂

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Cheers