WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 6: Bonnievale & Broken pieces of my heart – 31 DAYS

I could not post over the weekend as usual as I was away on a camp somewhere in Bonnievale in a farm called River Goose Camp. It was fun being out in nature, away from internet and electricity and all the noise and “comfort” of city life to just spend time with friends and family.

I was there last year exactly at the same time. The 14th of March is the birthday of Mel who I have come to take as my mum. She loves nature and has always returned to the farm to celebrate her birthday so last year we were there and returned this year again. I made a post here last year when we went. If you missed it, here is your opportunity to catch up, see the post here.

This year we had more friends and family so it was fun. I had a great time and enjoyed the long drive too. Highlight of my weekend was the time spent with the little angel Nina who is just 2. I have not seen such a sweet kid in a long time. so adorable and she is so intelligent, engages in such meaningful talk that left me wondering if she is not way older than her age. Everyone who came for the camp fell in love with Nina.

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It’s exactly 1 month to the wedding. 31 days!!! I am excited about what lies ahead and I write with joy but my joy is not complete. I write this with some pain and half a tear. Perhaps it is the way I am made, maybe it’s a man thing or maybe I am yet to just understand it fully.

I had a chat with a dear friend last week and told her about the wedding (I think she already heard from some friends). I told her and she went quite for a while then said congratulations and later told me things will change and said she is warning me “in advance” to anticipate a weird reaction. She said she was “shocked” by the news and later admitted it’s difficult to remains friends with and watch me build my life.

The discussion left me feeling sad and broken. I love my friends and will always hate to lose any. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my friendship especially with her and kept hearing the word “unfair” ringing in my ears…that was what she said I was…unfair to her…always have been unfair to her.

So as I take my walk down the aisle, I will take these thoughts with me. There will be friends I will love to see around but will see them no more. There are friends I will love to have around in my life but they are leaving and maybe never to return. Life is funny, such a happy phase in my life laced with some bitter flavour. In the course our relationship and planning for the wedding, I have met new friends who have come into my life and made it better. However, I am not faced with the flip side…just as friends come, some are changing and some are leaving. A sad truth which I must accept no matter how unpleasant it sounds. It makes me sad and if only I could change things and keep all my friends happy I will.

I love my friend and it will hurt to see her change and start acting “weird” but for now it is out of my hands. I can only wish for the best…I have searched my conscience and I still can’t figure it all out.

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BACK…again!!!

Yes..It has been 98 days away…that is long I know and if you read my “about” page you will see I confessed I am not a regular writer (though I am working on becoming one)…I am more of a “therapeutic writer”…I wonder if there is any such term…anyways I think that is the term that bests describes me when it comes to blogging…I write to keep me sane and alive…now if my last post was 98days you can only imagine how close I am to a full blown insane man…actually I think if you will rate insanity on a scale of 0-10, I should now sit comfortably between 5 – 6…or maybe higher….hehehehe…now you know my current state…and after seeing my state on the insanity scale, I had to jettison my initial plan to make a return after 100 days!! A lot can happen in 2 days you know…so yeah it’s time to let out the steam and return to a more decent frame and state of sanity.

I spent the last weekend camping with friends and family….it was at the camp that I realized and decided it is time to return from my break… The camp was at the River Goose Camp site..the bit I will say about the camp is if you are planning a vacation in South Africa and you are an outdoor camp freak like me…you love to be in the farm, close to nature, treated to a serene star filled sky at night and an all-day orchestra of bird calls and songs around you, paddling, kayak-ing and just leaving the hustle and bustle of the busy and noisy city life then Goose camp is your destination…you won’t find a better camp!!! see more about the place here and let my pictures do the rest of the talking…
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