WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 10: The finale – Ringed

How time flies hey!! The last time I made a post was April 6^th…in another two days it will be a full month!! And yeah this last 4 weeks will definitely go down as one of the most if not the most dramatic, event-filled and action packed month in my life.

This post is the final in the series. It was meant to me a countdown to my wedding…I missed one post which was supposed to come one week to the wedding and I initially thought I should post that now but again I thought why hold back? The aim of the series is the wedding anyways, why waste more time talking count down while I can as well talk about the big day?

So on the 18^th of April, I walked down the aisle and got ringed to the love of my life Tendai. It was a beautiful and well attended ceremony. It held in a small town called Gindiri about 120km from the city of Jos, Nigeria. This was followed by a second event in Cape Town which mainly was organized for the family and friends here who could not make the long trip to Nigeria for the wedding. The event in Cape Town was held on the 30^th of April and it was sandwiched by our birthdays with Tendai’s birthday on the 29^th April while mine came up on the 3^rd of May. Now you see what I mean by an event-filled month! 🙂 …yes I can’t dish out all the juicy details in one post so again take a chill pill, sit back and relax as I take you through another series…this time shorter  than the 10 episode Walk me down the aisle. In the new series titled “Through the eyes of the Groom” I will tell you about the wedding days (Nigeria and South Africa) and the “after drama”.

How does it feel to be “finally” married? Is one question I have heard many ask me a lot over the past two weeks. My response has always been two fold, maybe three fold, the first is non-verbal (A Smile), the second is verbal(It feels good) and the third is a silent and secrete response which is not seen by anyone because it usually is in my mind…In my mind I wonder why “finally”? It was no prolonged battle. It was just a matter of “when” and never “if”. But how can I start explaining that to the countless people who ask the question? I know it will lead to a long essay and sermon none of which I was ready for… 🙂

I am happy, I am married to one who I love and I know love me too so dearly…at this moment in time nothing else really matters. Every time I look at her, my heart warms up and I just smile, I know that come what may everything will be fine….and this is not a feeling based on some fleeting sensation of newlyweds, it is a deep conviction. I have known Tendai for 4 and a half years now and have seen enough of her to know she is right for me and these words I speak are borne from all the experiences of these years leading up to 18^th April when we stood before God, family and friends to profess our love and exchange marital vows that will bind us for as long as we have breath in us. That is my conviction. That is my feeling. That is where I stand. I love Tendai and she loves me too.

🙂 ❤

WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 8: Tired…but the Journey has begun. – 17 days

I guess I am permitted to feel tired. I have always had deep respect to all those who have planned and executed a wedding but now more than ever before my respect for them has shot right through the roof and now sits at an all time high.

It is exactly 17 days left between now and MY our wedding day. That is two weeks and three days. To make me feel better, 1,468,800 seconds or 408 hours to the day. I feel drained emotionally but my heart beats with excitement. The whole planning period leading up to the day has been a huge emotional investment on my part. It is a very special day and I am determined to make every second of the day a memorable and happy one for me but more especially for Tendai. I know it will mean a lot to her.

As my fingers softly tap on my computer’s keyboard, my mind is still contemplating on final plans and going through all that needs to be done, what has been done and what I need to check up on again. That seems to be the sequence of thoughts that my mind has had on replay recently. I know can understand why some hire wedding planners to plan and execute their plans for the big day. While I can understand why, I thought I can’t do it. I think the wedding day is such a hugely significant and special day in the lives of the couple that the least they can do is to enjoy it fully and this includes the planning phase too and all the excitement and stress that comes with it. Having some stranger or anyone else plan for your wedding robs you off this very significant and part of the wedding. I feel tired and almost spent yes but I won’t have it another way 🙂

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Our trip to Nigeria has started! Yeah…Tendai is currently in Zimbabwe, she will spend time with family while she applies for her visa to Nigeria, I will leave Cape Town to meet up with her at Johannesburg next week then we proceed to Nigeria together for the final 10 days that will lead to the big day. So Tendai is gone this means the journey truly has started…and this is only getting more real.

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Finally I am moving into the flat that is going to be home for Tendai and me. It has been physically tasking for me…so add to the guy low on emotional energy fuel the stress of moving and you have an idea of the state I am now :-). Everything is packed into boxes now thanks to Tendai who saw to it before travelling. The bit that was left unpacked I have used the last few days packing and now I am all but ready to move into the new flat…this flat will be “our home” now that’s new terminology if you get where I am coming from. We even signed the lease contract in both our names!!

Yes, this indeed is getting more real…

I am still tired….

WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 7: It’s getting Real : god-parents and a “surprise party” – 25 days

Yeah its 3 weeks 4 days left and it’s really getting real. I now have this feeling of “can’t wait for this day to come and go” whether that is a good or bad thing I don’t know. But I think it is more as a result of having put in so much into planning for a day and now you get to the point when you are just waiting for the day to arrive…yeah that is where I am at the moment.

Two things happened this past week both pleasantly surprising. First Valo, Tendai’s cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby girl Iyvana on Friday the 20th of March.  It came as a surprise to both of us when she whatsApp Tendai to say she just gave birth, Tendai laughed and said yeah nice joke, you still have a couple of weeks to go. Then Valo sent a picture of the baby and Tendai still thought could be someone else’s baby then she send a picture of herself and then we knew it was true. The baby had come a couple of weeks earlier so took us by surprise but it was a pleasant one.

Baby Iyvana

On Saturday 21st, the happy parents made a request of Tendai and I. They want us to be the god-parents of baby Iyvana. I love the name and its meaning which a little research made me understand has Russian and Hebrew origins and means “Gift of God”(Hebrew) or “God is Gracious”(Russian). I am so specific about names…I think names do have a great influence on how the kid will turn out in life. So I was glad with the name choice by the parents…Iyvana is just an apt name for this princess. We both were so humbled by the request to be god-parents of Iyvana. It was one we could not say no to. Valo is one of Tendai’s sisters who I sort of clicked with even before we met. We connect on level higher than I do with most of Tendai’s relatives. She is also really close with Tendai. Nkulu, Valo’s husband is also very good friends with Tendai so we already had a very good relationship between us prior to now.

When I first heard the request I was quite for a while. I walked into the kitchen and found a couple of unwashed plates and proceeded to wash them…as the water run through my hands into the sink and my hands went through the motions of sponging, scrubbing, rinsing and cleaning the plates, my mind switched into processing mode and I was weighing the implication of saying yes, the responsibilities that come to saying “yes we accept”. I don’t take such responsibilities lightly. I can be that serious sometimes.

I thought of my own god-mother and how she cares for me like her biological son and doing this on a consistent basis, daily…praying ,caring for, encouraging, cautioning me. Now If I say yes then this is what I will expect Tendai and I to do same and even more to Iyvana. It was an emotional moment for me. I know I want to say yes but I had to contemplate carefully all the responsibility that comes with that and also make Tendai understand same before we give a yes. If we know we won’t be able to do that to the best of our ability then there is no point saying yes.

Tendai understood the weight of what we were considering and agreed with me it was immense but confessed her willingness to accept the new responsibility. With this, we called Valo and Nkulu to accept the responsibility. So officially guys I am now a god-father and coming at this time. 3 weeks to my big day only made me realize how real this new territory I am walking into is. Am I excited? absolutely!! I am thrilled and so is Tendai…and so is Iyvana who is so cute by the way…just like her parents and god-parents 😉 I will keep you posted on here on her development. I won’t be seeing her in person for another few months though which is sad as they are in Zimbabwe and with all the plans we have ahead of us, getting a free slot to visit Zimbabwe will take a few months.

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On Saturday the 21st, friends of Tendai in Cape Town decided to throw a surprise bridal shower for her. Since it was a surprise, they needed to rope yours truly in the plans 😀 so that is how I got involved in the plans which began a few weeks ago. My ultimate plan was to deliver Tendai at the venue and make sure up until the last second she remains completely unaware of the plans going on.

Now Tendai has always bragged that I can’t lie to her. She is certain she has known be so well to tell immediately I tell her something that is untrue and to some extent she has proved it to me and I had vowed to prove her wrong at the right time, a promise she had laughed off. So this was a perfect opportunity for me to prove my point and men o men I did a good job! I had to give myself a pat on the back. I sold her a story which she bought easily and swallowed hook, line and sinker!!

Bride to Be

The day came and it was a very successful event. Tendai is still talking about it. She had no idea that was planned and she loved every bit of it. She gave me a 10/10 score for my role too by the way so I have redeemed some of my pride in that department. I understand the friends and family in Zimbabwe are also organizing a bridal shower for her next week when she is suppose to be in Zim. Well, I will keep you posted how that goes.

But on Saturday after dropping Tendai off at the venue and left. It again got me thinking…this is getting real!! the final balls are falling in place and the final phase in this journey has started, its 24 days to go and Bridal shower down. The décor of the venue had “Future Mrs. Wala” written…when I saw pictures it made me smile. For real this thing just got real. I love Tendai and I can’t wait for that day when I shall stand before God and men to declare my love to her and take those vows that will bind us for life!!

WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE SERIES: Episode 6: Bonnievale & Broken pieces of my heart – 31 DAYS

I could not post over the weekend as usual as I was away on a camp somewhere in Bonnievale in a farm called River Goose Camp. It was fun being out in nature, away from internet and electricity and all the noise and “comfort” of city life to just spend time with friends and family.

I was there last year exactly at the same time. The 14th of March is the birthday of Mel who I have come to take as my mum. She loves nature and has always returned to the farm to celebrate her birthday so last year we were there and returned this year again. I made a post here last year when we went. If you missed it, here is your opportunity to catch up, see the post here.

This year we had more friends and family so it was fun. I had a great time and enjoyed the long drive too. Highlight of my weekend was the time spent with the little angel Nina who is just 2. I have not seen such a sweet kid in a long time. so adorable and she is so intelligent, engages in such meaningful talk that left me wondering if she is not way older than her age. Everyone who came for the camp fell in love with Nina.

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It’s exactly 1 month to the wedding. 31 days!!! I am excited about what lies ahead and I write with joy but my joy is not complete. I write this with some pain and half a tear. Perhaps it is the way I am made, maybe it’s a man thing or maybe I am yet to just understand it fully.

I had a chat with a dear friend last week and told her about the wedding (I think she already heard from some friends). I told her and she went quite for a while then said congratulations and later told me things will change and said she is warning me “in advance” to anticipate a weird reaction. She said she was “shocked” by the news and later admitted it’s difficult to remains friends with and watch me build my life.

The discussion left me feeling sad and broken. I love my friends and will always hate to lose any. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my friendship especially with her and kept hearing the word “unfair” ringing in my ears…that was what she said I was…unfair to her…always have been unfair to her.

So as I take my walk down the aisle, I will take these thoughts with me. There will be friends I will love to see around but will see them no more. There are friends I will love to have around in my life but they are leaving and maybe never to return. Life is funny, such a happy phase in my life laced with some bitter flavour. In the course our relationship and planning for the wedding, I have met new friends who have come into my life and made it better. However, I am not faced with the flip side…just as friends come, some are changing and some are leaving. A sad truth which I must accept no matter how unpleasant it sounds. It makes me sad and if only I could change things and keep all my friends happy I will.

I love my friend and it will hurt to see her change and start acting “weird” but for now it is out of my hands. I can only wish for the best…I have searched my conscience and I still can’t figure it all out.

The Creative Bloggers Award

Taking a break from the Take me down the aisle series today to talk about something else. 🙂

My friend Noolz nominated me for the “Creative Bloggers award”. Now if you have been here for a while you will know that Noolz is one friend I am so fond of. She sings, she plays the guitar and she writes…I call her a superwoman because of the sheer “Samson-like strength” she possess. She wears many caps and wears them all gorgeously with finesse and class. She refers to herself as the ‘Black rose’ in identifying with her Enigmatic and mysterious self. She also refers to herself as a ‘Phoenix’  because in her words “I feel I have lived so many lives”. That is not all…she is also Blueheartz amongst a lot more names. So you see why I tell you she wears many caps? Want to know more about her? check Writeforsanitysake and come thank me later :-). It was Noolz who also nominated me for the Liebster Blog award and here we are again.  Thank you Noolz.

There are rules to be met before I am awarded the Creative Writers blog.

• Nominate 15-20 blogs and notify all nominees via their social media/blogs
• Thank and post the link of the blog that nominated you (very important)
• Share 5 facts about yourself to your readers
• Pass these rules on to them

So here are the blogs I have nominated

1. Suitcases and Lattes
2. Confessions of an Average mum
3. Ideas for Sustainability
4. Glennzitosullivan
5. The Average South African
6. A Frame around infinity
7. Life after Abuse, a brighter tomorrow
8. RealRuth
9. A Holistic Journey
10. Lahmeet

FIVE RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

Well, I had given 11 random facts about me in an earlier post I made last month..if you missed it, you can check it here. So now trying to think of what can qualify as a random fact about me which I have not mentioned already. Well here we go!

1. I love chatting with friends. Now I don’t mean your average talking buddy. I can’t stop talking once I have started and most times have to be stopped.
2. I have a weird 6th sense. I know what my friends and family are going through even when I am thousands of miles away.
3. I have 2 nieces aged one year and 2months+
4. I have 5 siblings. 3 boys and 2 girls.
5. I still dream of making a career in the entertainment industry.

Yeah, that’s it friends, hope you enjoyed this post? It was not so easy writing especially the 5 facts about me. Guess cos it made me thing some more and reveal details about me which I feel makes me vulnerable and that makes me uncomfortable but I am glad I did. Thanks again to Noolz who nominated me. Have a great evening and hang around for my next post on the Walk me down the aisle series…you don’t want to miss it! 😉

Walk me down the Aisle series I – 70 Days : Once a week for 10 weeks

I am about to take a plunge into a world that is unknown to me. I am about to embark on an adventure that will last the rest of my life. The feelings I have about the whole new life and what it holds for me and the future is a true cocktail of feelings…runs through the whole range from extremely excited on the one extreme to a little apprehensive at the other extreme.

In Exactly 70days I will be walking down the aisle with the one I love and call my “soul-mate”. I will be getting married to Tendai Musvuugwa( I will teach you how to pronounce that name though after 5 years of trying I still have not perfected it…I have to doff my cap to Zimbabweans)

This will begin a series of post I will be making over the next 10 weeks as I count down to this big day of my life. I will be addressing all the issues I have encountered and will encounter leading to this big day. I will also tell our story or rather some more of it…previously I had told you abit about us..if you missed it, you can read it here. I will also in addition to writing about my thoughts also share the thoughts of others I find inspiring or insightful on this subject. I will also share some of our pictures, some songs I love and more…it will be a new thing for each post for the 10 weeks leading up to April 18, 2015.

So why the big deal about writing anyway? well, because I want to write about it! I have seen a lot written about weddings and the married life but mostly by ladies so I thought I through in something different into the mix…and here you have it…a wedding and married life from the perspective of a man.

 I read somewhere that there are three most important days in a man’s life. The day a man is born, the day he gets married and the day he dies. Everyone gets the chance to experience two of these days – the first and the third. Others are privileged to experience all three. It went on to say of these three days, one stands out as most important…the other two are not as important and the reason being that on the two occasions(the first and last), one is helpless and can do little about the when and how of it.

The first day one is born you are an infant and totally dependent on others for everything, you also have no say in when or how you are born. On the third day when you die you also have no say and your body will be interred the way the loved ones you leave behind go about it. The 2nd of these three days however is most important because you are alive, an adult and call the shots on what and how things will be done. This therefore makes it the most Important of the three hence the need to cherish it most and make it as memorable as you can.

I am moved to agree with the story so I plan to have a great wedding and plan to enjoy every bit of it as I plan to have only one wedding so it’s a one shot at making it work for me hence the big deal about it.

WEDDING DAY

First interesting fact about is if you have not noticed is we are from different countries, different regions and traditions, same continent and share the same heart with a Love that’s tailor-made in heaven just for us. She is Zimbabwean and I am Nigerian. We met in Madagascar and now both based in South Africa! Now let that sink in…I will give more as the weeks roll by.

So for the wedding we decided to have two functions. One in Nigeria and another in the mother city – Cape Town. We wanted having the second function in Zimbabwe but really couldn’t pull it off for some reasons….ermmm let’s say being a Nigerian comes some with a lot of free add-ons and I have had my own share of it J. By virtue of our being an “international couple”(I wish I know what that means), we are expecting both functions to be a reflection of that. As at today I can confirm the wedding will have guests from over 13 countries spread over 3 continents!!

Ok…that is it for the first in the 10 week series…stay with me as I return next week with the next episode in the series. If you have any particular topic you will want me to address in the course of this 10 week marathon, You can drop a comment  and I am sure to address it.

That’s it for now folks….Cheers